my greatest challenge...

This year has been a hard one the negative side of me says, but if I look objectively I guess my kids have survived.... I'v made it through 38wks of pregnancy... I've worked alot at keeping our house in better order (probably due to the fact I got rid of many a car load of "random crap" to opshops and selling some things here and there) .. even just things like keeping on top of washing and finding a system for putting away washing .. (one where I only fold my husbands clothes and the linen closet... hehe whos to know?!) ... also me and my husband have come through alot and we laughingly call each other mates now - yes I know that must sound crazy but its true - 8 years in and I think we are just getting a bit more of a hang of this whole marriage thing :) (we are a true story of opposites attract!)

Theres no great point to this particular post, no beautiful photos or classy design... I just had it on my heart to say - life as a Mum is flipping hard - especially when your self talk is that you are useless at it, you've screwed up your kids...you dont know where to start to get anywhere with it.... I just wanted to say if thats you... your not alone, and your Ok... You'll be ok. Hang in there, when life makes so sense....

and you might say what would you know... for me its because of this one little thing that I know that I know (well for today any ways I might have to re tell my self tomorrow)....

This verse jumped into my mind in the night last night one when I woke up ..." And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back again and I will take you to Myself, so that where I am you may be also." John 14:3Amplified Bible (AMP)

I know when you read that verse it doesn't make make sense but I woke up last night and I haven't heard much from God lately but just as I woke I just so clearly got those words "I will prepare a place for you..."

One of the biggest things I think I've seen this year in my life is that I am weak in so many areas and its there that God wants to be also so that his strength is seen through me, and yet I hold onto my weaknesses without letting him in....I find it hard to even find the time where I stop and actually think about it and so just carry on with it all...

but this morning I felt reminded that He wants to be the one that guides us if we let him?...that he wants to lead us but will we let him?.... I will help you will you let me?.... I will prepare something just for your desires of your heart will you be patient to wait for it?....

So what I felt like in these ramblings is that for you who like me feels pretty hopeless with who they have become or where they are at in life .... the great I am ... our perfect parent is saying over us I will make a way for you, I will do it... I will help you in that life area that is full of struggle....

I will prepare a place just for you - where I meet you just as you are and the rest is already done for you....

so hang in there...don't be so hard on yourself... tomorrow is another day...when life makes no sense to me, my GREATEST challenge is to let Him in..

love carolyn

ps I'm two weeks away from due date to a little boy whom God gave me the name for over a year ago - at first when I got the name I was like 'nope I'm not hearing that name, nope I'm not having another boy... but when I looked at the meaning of it straight away I got the words - when you are weak I am strong... and so I am learning that God wants us to let him in, he wants to be the hero, so very slowly I'm trying to let him be that again... trust after heart ache is a slow journey for some and thankfully I'm pretty sure Gods ok with that.....